Wednesday, January 1, 2003

Morning Prayer

Thank you God for this day.

Thank You for a good night sleep, for willingness, for sobriety, and for my spiritual awakening which continues to unfold.

Lord, as I begin this day, I offer You my inner most self that You would form me according to Your will. I offer You my intellect, instinct, and intuition, my heart, mind, and soul that I may be freed from the bondage of self.

I ask that You divorce my thinking from skepticism, doubt, confusion, rationalization, and digressive questioning.

God please help me to have good working mental faculties. Help me to think clearly, honestly, and objectively.  Help me with clarity of focus, resolute concentration, and effective memorization and recall.

I pray that I would use my mental faculties to grow in belief, trust, reliance, and faith, to grow closer to you not away from you.

God please help me to control my feelings.  I ask that You temper my emotions, govern my instincts, and restrain the arousal of my senses to a sane level.   I pray especially for help with anger, fear, pride, and lust.  Let not my lower self impair my thinking, distort my perception, misguide my values, or drive me blindly.

Lord, please form my passions to find joy in the simple things in life and especially in doing Your will. Show me the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love.

God please help me to open my connection with you to illuminate my spirit, to enlighten my judgment, and to fire my imagination. Please guide me with your inspiration and intuitive thoughts and guide me in the decisions that I must make today. Show me Lord what I can do today to be of maximum effectiveness for you and for the people about me and show me what I can do today for the man who is still sick.

I pray Lord to keep my house in order today, Amen.

Step 4

1. Read pages 63 – 71 in the AA Big Book.  Highlight the places in the book where you find important concepts:

Resentment - “Resentment is the "number one" offender; resentment is infinitely grave.”
Self – “We asked ourselves why we were angry. In most cases it was found that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, (including sex) were hurt or threatened.”
Spiritual Sickness – “for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.”
Others – “We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.”
Fear - “We review our fears thoroughly; It was an evil and corroding thread.”
Sex Ideal - “We try to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life.”

2. Write a list of persons, institutions or principles with whom you are angry; complete the resentment inventory with sponsor.
3. Write a list of fears; complete the fears inventory with sponsor.
4. Write a list of sex conduct, review it with sponsor.

Fourth Step Prayer

Dear God,
It is I who have made my life a mess.
I have done it, but I cannot undo it.
My mistakes are mine, and I will begin a
searching and fearless moral inventory.
I will write down my wrongs,
but I will also include that which is good.
I pray for the strength to complete the task.

Step 3

1. Read pages 60 – 64 in the AA Big Book. Highlight the places in the book where you find important concepts:

Self Will - “…any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.”
Selfishness and Self-Centeredeness - “Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.”
God's Will - "Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him.” " When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed."
The Decision - “We think well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we can at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.”

2. Say the Third Step Prayer:

Third Step Prayer
God, I offer myself to Thee to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of life,
May I do Thy will always! Amen

Step 2

1. Read pages 44 – 57 in the AA Big Book. Highlight the places in the book where you find important concepts:

A Vital Spiritual Experience
- You may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer
God As A Power
- Lack of power, that was our dilemma … it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.
A Simple Belief Or Willingness - Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient; we could commence at a simpler level.
A New Attitude - Take a certain attitude toward that Power: sweep away prejudice, think honestly, …search diligently within yourself
The Second Step Proposition - Face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is or He isn't

2. Write a list of your obstacles to faith (or why your conception was inadequate).
3. Write a list of reasons to believe.
4. Write the following sentences out at the bottom of your page:

• I believe or I am willing to believe that a power greater than myself can relieve me of my addiction and restore me to sanity

• I am convinced of three pertinent ideas:
(a) That I am an addict and can not manage my own life.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved my addiction.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

Second Step Prayer
Heavenly Father, I know in my heart that only you can restore me to sanity.
I humbly ask that you remove all twisted thought and
addictive behavior from me this day.
Heal my spirit and restore in me a clear mind.
Amen

Step One

Instructions
1. Read “The Doctors Opinion” and Chapters 2 – 3 in the AA Big Book. Highlight the places in the book where you find important concepts:

Powerlessness

Physical Allergy – The phenomenon of craving; The drink or drug  gives the alcoholic or addict a much more powerful effect than others, so much so that he cannot (predictably) stop or moderate once he starts.  The alcoholic or addict has lost the ability to control his drinking or using. 
Mental Obsession – The alcoholic or addict has such a deep desire for the effect of alcohol or drugs that he cannot stop thinking about it or resist it.  This compulsion drives him so blindly that he will stop at nothing until it is satiated.  The alcoholic or addict has lost the power of choice in drink or drug.
Mental Blank Spot – The inability to see the consequences or bring them to mind with sufficient force to stop.  The alcoholic or addict does not have the power to stop his drinking or using.

Unmanageability


External Unmanageability – Problems managing circumstances: personal relationships, finances, jobs, law abidance, possessions, health, livelihood, home etc.
Internal Unmanageability – Problems managing feelings: deep desires, obsessions, dependencies, excitability, resentments, spiritual malady, soul sickness, depression, emptiness, lack of joy, shame, guilt, blame, etc.
Perspective Unmanageability – Problems managing the truth due to old ideas, old belief systems, poor conceptions, selfish motives, flawed values, rationalization, self-centeredness, self-deception, denial, delusion, dishonesty. 

2. Consider (or write) personal examples of how you are powerless.
3. Consider (or write) personal examples of how your life is unmanageable.
4. Consider (or write) the following admissions:
• I fully concede to my innermost self that I am alcoholic (or addict); that I am powerless over alcohol (or my addiction) as described in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
• I fully concede to my innermost self that my life is unmanageable.
• I fully concede to my innermost self that the disease is chronic, progressive, and fatal.
• I have no reservation or lurking notion that I will ever be able to drink (or use) safely again.
• I believe that I must have a psychic change, that I have a disease that only a spiritual experience will conquer.

First Step Prayer

God, I admit that I am powerless over my addiction.
I admit that my life is unmanageable when I try to control it.
Help me this day to understand the true meaning of powerlessness.

Morning Prayers

Thank you God...
For good sleep, renewed life, and for a new experience today.
Thank you for keeping me clean and sober and giving me willingness.


Lord,
as I begin this day I offer you my heart, mind, and soul that you would form my core motives according to your will.
Please direct my thinking that my reason will lead me to grow in belief and trust in you and not in doubt so that I might be a better demonstration of your grace.
Please govern my feelings so that my instincts, emotions, and desires will not separate me from you but would motivate me by your love.
Please guide me with your inspiration and intuitive thoughts that I might grow in understanding and effectiveness and in the decisions that I must make today.

Please show me throughout the day what the next right thought or action is.
Please show me what I can do today for the man who is still sick.
Please show me what your will for me today is.

Amen



Mission

This is a blog about one man's experiences in 12 step recovery and the spiritual life. ~