Tuesday, November 30, 2010

A Bold Proposition

"In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. "  Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 101

The first time I read this statement it stopped me dead in my tracks.  I thought that I had read it wrong and had to reread it.  Perhaps I was having trouble understanding the wording, surely it meant the opposite.  What I had read so far had little specific advice for practices to avoid drinking.  There was no step that said "Avoid slippery people and slippery places." I had predicted it would come in this chapter ("Working with Others"), or possibly in "To Wives." 


Then it struck me what a bold statement this was!  Especially so in light of the circumstances at the time the text was drafted.  At that time there were 100 members, none of which had more than 3-5 years of sobriety.  They were trying to get this fledgling organization off the ground and build credibility.  The safe thing to do would have been to either make a cautious minimal statement about safe places and people, or to avoid the subject altogether.  But instead they chose to stick to their conviction that recovery was primarily dependent upon a psychic change.


I remember thinking that the founders either took a reckless gamble, had a naive belief, or experienced a truly convincing miracle.  At this point it resonated so deeply with me that I became convinced myself.  At the time I was struggling with step 2 and this was a critical building block of my belief.  I knew to my core that they were right, no matter where I went I would find an Eskimo with some booze and an eight ball.  The only shield that would work would be a psychic one.  


This proved itself out for me in the days, months and years following the step work and spiritual awakening.  I moved back into my home and realized it was the most slippery place of all, especially my bathroom on a Friday night.  I remembered the family and business events that I went to where drinking took place.  Drinking friends and drug dealers attended and invariably tempted and propositioned me, but I had spiritual tools and resilience to protect me from a slip.


For me the best practices for slippery situations have been preventative ones.  True that taking a friend, using the phone, having an exit strategy are all essentials, but they are useless if I am not spiritually fit.  The best actions are daily prayer, meditation, continued inventory, regular fellowship, and working with others.  In short steps 10, 11, and 12, the spiritual fitness tools.


The text does give some advice and qualifications for going to places where there is drinking, I thought it best to list them:


  • "if we have a legitimate reason for being there."
  • "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place?"
  • "be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good."
  • "if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!"

The only other measure that I use as an addict is that I do not need to be anywhere that illegal activities are occurring, period.  The moment that anything illegal occurs I no longer have a legitimate reason to be there. 
 These principals help me to make the decisions without having to rely on my feelings.  I must remember that I can't trust my feelings in these matters.  

Mission

This is a blog about one man's experiences in 12 step recovery and the spiritual life. ~