Lately I've been looking at the degree to which we focus on the early dysfunction of our lives as the events that shaped our disease.
The early parts of our stories often contain of lot of dysfunction that may serve to point out the spiritual malady was there before drinking ever happened. Perhaps this is a good reason to discuss this.
However, just as with reasons to drink, we don't need bad circumstances to have a spiritual malady, just something between us and God. This can be something bad or too much of something good, or just an absence of a spiritual life.
We all want to look at the circumstances and glorify them as the cause. perhaps this is because it is a distraction from looking at the absence of God in our lives. If we look at the absence of God more as the problem then this would make the connection to God More important.
Perhaps I should develop my story around this idea. I should show how there was this time when all was right in the world, all was complete, all was love. Then my faith in the divine changed and my will became more important than God.
When I was a little child I had complete faith in God, my parents and in Love. I didn't have the doubts about the existence or Power of God. I was obedient to my parents and they were the control limits for my will. Love for others was open, easily given and untainted by lust and narcissism.
I always attributed the loss of this to growing out of the naivete of childhood. But naivete of itself was not the reason for this blissful state. The real reason was the loss of faith, control, and connection to others.
The 12 Step process helps me get back to the state of connection to God that I had as a child.
