If I Only Manage Well

"Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?"

Wrest - (obtain by seizing forcibly or violently, also metaphorically) "wrest the knife from his hands"; "wrest a meaning from the old text"; "wrest power from the old government"

It was easy for me to see where I had been selfish and inconsiderate to others where it came to feeding my addiction. But it was harder to see where my resentments were of my own making when I had them for good reasons.

To "wrest" means to seize forcefully or violently. It's like the word wrestle, it's a fight.

All my life I've been taught to to stand up for myself, fight for my rights, carve out my niche, struggle for my dreams, forge my destiny.

I came to believe that anytime I feel strongly enough about something that I feel is right then I should fight for it.

What I have learned is that I fight with others when I have placed too much value on my desires. I have become selfish and self-centered. Even if these desires are for good.

When I depend on people, plans and circumstances (this world) for my satisfaction and happiness I rarely achieve it for more than a moment. Inevitably and invariably I am disappointed. It's like trying to herd cats, I can never control all of them. I used to dream about the ideal system to run the world if I could achieve political power. Eventually I concluded that the only system that could ever truly work would be to use mind control devices. I'm sure someday someone will try it.

All of my life I have operated by the idea that my satisfaction and happiness depends on "managing well". It defies conventional thinking to place my dependence on a power greater than myself to manage things. It's a radical shift in thinking that doesn't come easily and I have had to learn and re-learn over and over.

But it is precisely that unconventional process that is the key to finding happiness and satisfaction in this life. I must place my dependence upon my relationship with God above all else. I must be willing to leave outcomes in his hands and let go of my plans, desires, needs and motives. Even if they are for a good cause.

This is the source true freedom and power.


Admitting he may be somewhat at fault, he is sure that other people are more to blame. He becomes angry, indignant, self-pitying. What is his basic trouble? Is he not really a self-seeker even when trying to be kind? Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can wrest satisfaction and happiness out of this world if he only manages well?