1. Self Control and Self Searching - I can't be objective or rational if I can't control my emotions. Step away and calm down. Search out the source of my misdirected instinct.
2. Own my motives and actions - Ask myself: What have I done to contribute to this situation? Are any of my needs or actions based on misdirected instinct instead of rational thinking? Think of what I can control, my feelings and actions. Let go of what I can't control, the other person's feelings or actions.
3. Be Contrite (or Willing) - Surrender my willfulness and ask God for forgiveness, strength, and healing. Base my sense of resolution on our well being not on the circumstances or outcome. Change my attitude to embrace recovery over revenge. Consider that the resentment and broken relationship may be more harmful than the circumstances of the wrong (or perceived wrong). If I struggle with this, at least consider that contrition is the best policy be willing to let God change me.
4. Empathize - Forgive the other person, put myself in their shoes. Allow the other person to own their own feelings, or be wrong. Trust that they will change on their own time frame. Be willing to admit and fully accept the wrongs that I commit.
5. Restitution - Make amends. Admit my own faults and apologize to them verbally as soon as possible. Make restitution as soon as possible if needed. Remember action speaks louder than words!
